Welcome to Depositions and Defenders, a role playing game of law, magic and ridiculous scenarios inspired by Dungeons and Dragons.
First, choose your character. Your character has a profession and a hidden stat distribution. These traits help your character accomplish their goals. Several pre-built characters have been created.
[[On to Character Select.]]
[[I've played before, send me to the passcode screen!]]You make deals. Cool! When you solve scenarios, your character might prefer solutions that involve long conversations, detailed plans, and mutual benefit for all involved.
(set: $job to "Transactional Lawyer")
[[Proceed.]]
You're aiming to get to the top of the dogpile. When solving complex situations, your character prefers direct solutions like defeating others in contests, altruistic behavior, or applying diplomacy.
(set: $job to "Politician")
[[Proceed.]]Your character excels in courtoom work and investigation. When solving problems, this character type prefers learning more about a situtation or attacking the problem directly.
(set: $job to "Litigator")
[[Proceed.]]Your character excels in maintaining their work-life balance. When solving problems, your character has no direct preference for aggressive, subtle or nonconfrontational solutions.
(set: $job to "Freelance Lawyer")
[[Proceed.]]You wake up sitting in a leather office chair. You've fallen asleep at your desk, again. Brushing aside various paperwork, you can see the sun rising over the city skyline. It's a beautiful day to be inside, working.
In the distance, you hear the noise of an alarm klaxxon. Checking your email, you see the subject line "A client has lit the beacon! You are called to aid the situation!" The email was sent ten minutes ago.
What would you like to do?
[[Go to the beacon and investigate.]]
[[Forget that, go back to sleep.]]Rising from your chair, you dash to the elevator. The building supervisors promised they'd repair it soon, but you believe that in the same way you believe you can skip all the readings and still get an A on the exam.
Fortunately, it does not break down on you, and soon you are in front of the Client Beacon on the fourth floor. Here, clients of all types teleport in with problems for the building's staff to solve. There's a long line of anxious folks seeking help. The secretary herding them sends one straight to you. He's a wiry, nervous fellow with greying hair.
"I was told you're the (print: $job) to go to for big stuff," says the potential client. "I need help right away," he insists.
The law never works like that, of course.
"My name's Clint. Can we talk?"
(set: $enthus to "")
[[Gesture towards a nearby conference room.]]
[[Totally ignore him and go get coffee.]]Right. You're already late for this one. Might as well let it sit.
As you settle back into your desk for a nap, you contemplate your ambitions. You've got a lot of options, as a newer lawyer. As you close your eyes and dream, you see...
[[Yourself acquiring the key to the city.]]
[[A courtroom full of reporters swarming to talk to you.]]
[[A giant chocolate cake with your name on it.]]The key to the city gleams golden in your hands. A crowd applauds your efforts to reduce crime, cut pollution, grow local businesses...
You wake up. Something is in your hands: the grey, electronic key to your car.
You've only been asleep for another 15 minutes, but in that time you've gotten another email. It's from the Managing Partner, and she wants to talk to you about your performance.
(set: $dream to "political success")
[[Go see the boss.]]
After a long trial, you've successfully proven your client deserves to keep the house. Their whole family comes up to hug you and the opposing council looks devastated. You dab at your eyes with a handkerchief. Reporters swarm the happy scene befalling you...
You wake up. Something is in your hands: a box of Kleenex.
You've only been asleep for another 15 minutes, but in that time you've gotten another email. It's from the Managing Partner, and she wants to talk to you about your performance.
(set: $dream to "heartfelt success")
[[Go see the boss.]]
Forgetting the law for a moment, you picture yourself on an episode of cake boss. As a judge, some of the best chefs in the world have labored to make a beautiful, delicious snack for you. Reaching out to a sky-scraper tall tower of fluffy cake, you sink a fork in for a delicious bite...
You wake up. Something is in your hands: a protein bar, crushed within its wrapper.
You've only been asleep for another 15 minutes, but in that time you've gotten another email. It's from the Managing Partner, and she wants to talk to you about your performance.
(set: $dream to "cake boss")
[[Go see the boss.]]
Rising from your chair, you dash to the elevator. The building supervisors promised they'd repair it soon, but you believe that in the same way you believe you can skip all the readings and still get an A on the exam.
Fortunately, it does not break down on you, and soon you are on the top floor of the building. The floors are polished tile, and odd statutes line the wall. It's kind of eerie in here. You are immediately accosted by security: two gentlemen in navy uniforms.
"Halt! What business do you have here?"
[[Here to see the boss, no need for any hostility.]]
[[Brush past them.]]
[[This is a coup; join me or perish.]]You ignore the client's concerns and gather some coffee from the counter.
"Please, I implore you to listen!" he shouts. "Why did you go through the effort of passing the bar just to drink coffee when a paying client is in need?"
He has a point.
(set: $enthus to "Finally.")
[[Gesture towards a nearby conference room.]]The guards size you up. "...your badge says you work here. Go ahead," they concede. Diplomacy saves the day yet again.
You continue on to the large, marble double-door that demarcates your boss's office. Nobody's there to greet you.
[[Push your way in.]]
[[Wait to be called in.]]The guards grab at your shoulder and push you to the ground. "How dare you challenge our authority!" they shout. In seconds, they have pulled out magical crossbows. You roll over to see them standing over you.
"Now, you best tell us what you're up to."
They don't look ready to compromise.
[[Explain the email you received.]]
[[Kick them both in the nuts and run.->Run out of the room.]]"How dare you," one guard shouts, grabbing for his weapon. The other stands silent, contemplating.
"We'll silence your rebellion before it begins!"
[[Take down the aggressive one with a punch to the face.]]
[[Try to talk them both into your plan.]]
[[Admit that you were kidding/being sarcastic.->Here to see the boss, no need for any hostility.]]
You can access this screen by the following PASSCODE: StageCoup"Great," Clint says. "I'm so glad you're going to help with this. (print: $enthus)"
As you two get situated, he pulls out a file full of papers.
"I don't know how tough this is, but I hear if anyone can handle this, it's you. I've got a... little loan problem."
[[Ask him to clarify.]]"Well... I may have done something a tad... shortsighted," Clint admits. "I loaned my life savings to a dragon." He clears his throat. "He promised me in an email a 30% share of his profits from his new business. All I had to do was give him my bank account information and the money would appear! It all seemed OK until he told me we couldn't proceed if I had anybody else look into the deal. I went through with it anyway."
You wonder why people like this exist.
"Now. I've got my mortgage to pay and times have been tough. And I don't want to mess around with the bank! I want this dragon to pay his share. Can we sue him? Or maybe make a deal?"
[[We can sue the dragon.]]
[[We can negotiate with the dragon.]]
[[Absolutely not. Give up on this case.]]
You can access this screen by the following PASSCODE: DragonSuitYou elbow your way into the doors, pushing them open. The room has burgundy walls lined in gold leaf and crown molding. At the center of the room is a walnut-wood desk and an elaborate throne, spun to face the other direction. A fireplace crackles in the corner.
"Ah, yes... I've been expecting you. I've never met a (print: $job) who thinks my business matters less than their shuteye."
You turn to the source of the voice. To your left, at a bookshelf, you see a woman with snakes for hair. This is your boss: Medusa, Esquire. As the managing partner, she wields both unlimited power and unchallenged authority.
"...and? What have you to say for yourself?"
[[Stammer out an apology.]]
[[Quit your job on the spot.]]
[[Insult your employer.]]You wait for something to happen.
Nobody approaches or open the door.
[[Push your way in.]]The guards size you up. "...your badge says you work here. Go ahead," they concede. "Just don't ignore us next time, dummy." Diplomacy saves the day yet again. They pick you up off the ground and dust off your blazer.
You continue on to the large, marble double-door that demarcates your boss's office. Nobody's there to greet you.
[[Push your way in.]]
[[Wait to be called in.]]Taken aback, Medusa, Esq. hisses at you. The snakes on her head flick their tongues. "What a weak apology," she growls. "You think I'd forgive you for this transgression?"
You look in your pockets. Your only thought is of (print: $dream + "es").
You don't need this job. You don't need to be treated like this.
[[Punch her in the face.]]
[[Continue to grovel.]]
"Quit?" Medusa, Esq. growls. "Good riddance, then. Don't waste my time anymore."
Your only thought is of (print: $dream + "es").
GAME OVER.
Taken aback, Medusa, Esq. hisses at you. The snakes on her head flick their tongues. "May a thousand cold calls take you," she growls. "You better be on some crazy meds today, or you're fired."
You look in your pockets. Your only thought is of (print: $dream + "es").
You don't need this job. You don't need to be treated like this.
[[Punch her in the face.]]
[[Run out of the room.]]
[[Stammer out an apology.]]You swing, and she dodges to avoid the hit.
Medusa, Esq. refuses to accept this behavior. She rears up to and shoots a beam of green light from her eyes. It narrowly misses you, but you can ehar the wall behind you sizzle.
[[Go in for a second hit.]]
[[Run out of the room.]]You hightail it out of there as fast as your legs can take you.
The security guards give chase as you furiously slam the button on the elevator.
The guards tackle you to the ground.
Your thoughts drift to (print: $dream + "es") as they kick you repeatedly.
GAME OVER."Hmmm..." Medusa, Esq. hums. "I suppose... I'll let you return to your meager work. I hate giving letting people successfully interview here. Return to your meager life."
You bow at Medusa, Esq.'s feet. She scoffs.
"If I ever catch you here again, you'll be sorry."
[[Return to your meager life.]]You slam the agressive guard in the face. The remaining guard tackles you to the ground in fury as his partner holds his face in pain.
Your thoughts drift to (print: $dreams + "es") as the uninjured guard kicks you repeatedly.
He pins your arms to your side and pulls a tazer from his belt.
"Stop resisting!" He orders. "You are being detained!"
[[Squirm helplessly.]]
[[Don't move a muscle.]]"That's ridiculous!" shouts the aggressive one. "We can't go against our boss. We'll all lose our jobs, dummy."
The other one wrings his hands.
"...we could think about it," he suggests.
"What!? You're not serious!"
"I mean, I don't really like our hours. A little revolution around here could be nice."
The guards begin shoving each other around and shouting. They are ignoring you.
[[Walk past them.]]
[[Wait for them to join the cause.]]You race back to the elevator to resume your adventure.
Fortunately, it does not break down on you, and soon you are in front of the Client Beacon on the fourth floor. Here, clients of all types teleport in with problems for the building's staff to solve. There's a long line of anxious folks seeking help. The secretary herding them sends one straight to you. He's a wiry, nervous fellow with greying hair.
"I was told you're the (print: $job) to go to for big stuff," says the potential client. "I need help right away," he insists.
The law never works like that, of course.
"My name's Clint. Can we talk?"
[[Gesture towards a nearby conference room.]]
[[Totally ignore him and go get coffee.]]Medusa, Esq. shoots a second beam of green light.
You freeze in place, turned to stone.
GAME OVER.With the guards distracted, you continue on to the large, marble double-door that demarcates your boss's office. Nobody's there to greet you.
[[Push your way in.]]
[[Wait to be called in.]]This would be an excellent moment to make some popcorn, but there's none on hand.
The peaceful one wins, then turns to face you. The aggressive one scowls in your direction.
"Ok. I'm listening. A coup on the firm sounds crazy... but it just might work. I haven't gotten a raise in five years here. What's the plan?"
[[Eat the rich.]]
[[Negotiate with the rich through collective bargaining.]]You elect to sue the dragon. You pull up your PDA and ask your paralegals to do some investigation on his story. Rule 11 and all that.
(set: $dragonstrat to "Lawsuit")
Seems the guy's story is legit. The dragon lives 50 minutes east in a mountainous cave. He supposedly conducts a smartphone manufacturing business from there. The dragon, named Nigel, owes this guy at least $100,000: quite a score for you in attorney's fees.
First, you'll need to draft a complaint.
[[Draft a thoughtful complaint.]]
[[Lazily throw something together at the last minute.]]You have no clue how, but you decide you can strike a deal with this dragon for the money he owes. A settlement out of court is cheaper in the long run anyway.
First, you need to get in contact with the dragon or his attorney. The dragon's old email isn't working, but there is an address listed. He lives about 50 minutes away by car.
(set: $dragonstrat to "Negotiations")
[[Drive to the dragon's location.]]That's enough of this guy. You stand and go back to the elevator. He shouts behind you to come back, but you ignore him.
One elevator ride later and you are in the peace and quiet of your office. There is some work you could do, but... why bother?
As you settle back into your desk for a nap, you contemplate your ambitions. You've got a lot of options, as a newer lawyer. As you close your eyes and dream, you see...
[[Yourself acquiring the key to the city.]]
[[A courtroom full of reporters swarming to talk to you.]]
[[A giant chocolate cake with your name on it.]]You write a laboriously thought out complaint- it's fantastic. Every paragraph is perfect, every sentence sings.
It's also 3 A.M.
You take a quick nap in preparation for tomorrow.
[[Go to the courthouse to file the complaint.]]You cobble something together that vaguely resembles a complaint. There's typos in strange places and you have mistakenly asked for "infinite moneys" as attorney's fees.
This will surely result in a good outcome for your client.
You have enough time to get to the courthouse today and file the complaint. You could revise it a little, though...
[[Revise work->Draft a thoughtful complaint.]]
[[File the work!->Go to the courthouse to file the complaint.]]Complaint filed!
You doubt you can get the dragon to waive service of process. That means you'll need the court marshall's help.
He's not in today, though...
[[Take the law into your own hands.->Drive to the dragon's location.]]Inside the cave is a lobby. The front desk is watched by a secretary who looks engrossed in his laptop. Long ears stretch up above his head. The rest of the floor is taken up by stalagmites.
Every surface is covered in long stratches. The ceiling is so high up you can barely see the edges of it. There is a hallway in view, but you'll have to pass by the desk to get there. There's also a door located much closer.
[[Ask the secretary where to find the dragon.]]
[[Enter the nearest door and go explore.]]You inquire with the secretary about the building and its staff.
"...oh?" the secretary says, popping up from his screen. He kind of looks like a rabbit, but he has little wings on his back. He must be some kind of mythical being. "Can I help you?" he chirps.
[[Yes, I'd like a directory.]]
[[Yes, I'd like something to eat.]]
[[No. Just here doing unsuspicious business.]]You jiggle the handle of the door. Success! It is unlocked.
Entering the door, you see the floor is a suspended catwalk over a steep drop. You can't see how deep the chasm goes, but you can see a faint, reddish glow emanating from below. Maybe that's magma... or is the term lava?
The end of the catwalk has an elevator made of mesh. Now would be a horrible time to have a fear of heights.
[[Enter the elevator.]]
[[Back to the lobby to talk to secretary.->Ask the secretary where to find the dragon.]]You get in the car to drive to the dragon's cave. The highway is packed with cars. Even though teleportation has been made possible by magic, it is still an expensive pursuit.
You turn on the radio to pass the time. A news program warns you about the upcoming weather and the possibility of a gnome stampede downtown. You take this under advisement.
[[Arrive at dragon's cave.]]As you approach the cave, you notice that there is a filled parking lot outside. They can't all be angry lawyers... some of them work here, you guess. The dragon does run a smartphone business.
There's nothing blocking you from stopping, though, so you park in the nearest spot you see.
[[Enter the cave.]]If you would like to play a character focused on negotiation:
[[Transactional Lawyer]]
For a focus on power acquisition:
[[Politician]]
For a focus on argumentation:
[[Litigator]]
Or to play a character that doesn't hate their work schedule:
[[Freelancer]]The guard stuns you with the tazer.
GAME OVER.
The guard watches carefully and puts the tazer away.
"Ok. Are you calmed down now? No more revolution, right?"
[[No more revolution.]]
[[Much more revolution.]]"Glad to hear it. Now, if that's all, please go back to work. I don't want to have to... <i>write you a warning.</i>"
You don't want that either.
[[Explain the email you received.]]While the guard is distracted, you free your hands and scrabble up to your feet. The two guards stare you down. One cracks his knuckles. It seems diplomacy has failed: they are no longer interested in your revolution.
Amateurs.
[[Run past them to the boss's office.]]
[[Run to the elevator.->Run out of the room.]]The angry guard rolls his eyes. "That just sounds like selective cannibalism."
The other guard doesn't seem encouraged by this truism either. "I hope you're joking."
[[Negotiate with the rich through collective bargaining.]]The aggressive guard turns his head to the side. The other looks encouraged by your suggestion.
"That'll never work," the angry one says. "We're all replacable. You think there's not a whole law school's worth of people trying to get our jobs? If you want to get past me and try this crazy scheme, you're gonna have to prove that you're not alone in this."
The other one elbows his associate. "We can help get the ball rolling, can't we?"
The two look about to start bickering again.
[[Offer to get other lawyers involved.]]
[[Offer to let them do all the work.]]You dart around the guards. They lunge out to catch you but miss.
You continue on to the large, marble double-door that demarcates your boss's office. The guards stop short at a yellow caution strip taped to the ground.
"Hey! You're not allowed in there!"
[[Push your way in.]]You offer to get other lawyers involved. You think if you can get to the building's highly guarded intercom, you can convince the people to rise up.
"...Sure, why not. But we can't go with you; if we leave our posts, who knows what'll happen. Can you manage on your own?"
[[Assure them you'll be fine.]]You suggest that if they pull themselves up by their bootstraps, they can get the people to rise up.
"...That's really unhelpful advice," the chill guard grumbles. "But... if we could get to the intercom system, maybe we could..."
"No way!" the other interjects. "That thing's guarded like the Mona Lisa. No chance you could sneak close enough to... use it. Unthinkable! An officewide memo would be better. Anyway, we can't leave our posts. Your plan's trash."
[[Head to the intercom.->Head to the elevator for the intercom.]]
[[Head back to your office to mass email everybody.]]You promise that you'll succeed in your task.
"...ok. Good luck. We'll do what we can on our end."
"...He will. I'm not gonna help," spits the aggressive guard. It's an improvement, at least.
[[Head to the elevator for the intercom.]]You take the ricketty elevator to your office.
Contacting all the attorneys in the firm may prove more challenging than you made it sound. For starters, sending an email to everybody requires you know all the names to type in. The employee ListServ that exists is only accessible to the boss... And everyone is BCC'd when a mass mail is sent out. Unless you can reverse engineer the company's email software, you're going to have to incite a revolution the old fashioned way: networking.
As if the universe is taunting you, you get one such email just now. It's a reminder that the weekly meeting is taking place in twenty minutes! Remember: you're not going to be paid and attendance is mandatory.
Maybe there's something you could do there...
[[Prepare for weekly meeting.]]You take the ricketty elevator to the basement.
Getting to the intercom may prove more challenging than you made it sound. For starters, you need a key to get to the basement where it's kept. Beyond the first vault door, you expect to find tricks and traps that will make even the best escape plan a moot point. You may need to make a heroic sacrifice for this coup to work.
Your phone dings with an email notification. It's a reminder that the weekly meeting is taking place in twenty minutes! Remember: you're not going to be paid and attendance is mandatory.
Well, that'll at least prevent people from snooping around while you work.
The elevator lets you out in front of a room with a locked door. A camera swivels in your direction.
[[Test locked basement door.]]
[[Chicken out and go to the meeting.->Prepare for weekly meeting.]]Enter a passcode:
(set: $passIn to (prompt: "Your passcode, please:", "Type Here!"))
(set: $job to "Litigator")
(if: $passIn is "DragonSuit")[[Go To Client Request->Ask him to clarify.]]
(if: $passIn is "StageCoup")[[Go To Revolution->This is a coup; join me or perish.]]
To prepare for the meeting, you need to think of a way to communicate to others that the firm is not being fair with your hours, compensation, and working conditions. Also, you need a plan to overthrow management.
[[Make an informative powerpoint.->Prepare a visual aid.]]
[[Carefully craft a motivational speech.->Speech.]]
[[Buy everyone lunch as a bribe.->Bribe.]]
[[Make a paper hat to boost your credibility.->HAT.]]You lovingly draft a powerpoint on the long-term dangers of the workplace. Not only are there 400 slides, but every single one of them is loaded with facts and meaningful statistics. This will certainly convince your office, nay, the whole planet that you are the expert on the topic.
The meeting is about to start.
(set: $meeting to "powerpoint")
[[Meeting time.]]Delicately, you weave a stack of bulletpointed notecards into existence with a magic spell. The cards will automatically cross off items you've mentioned for maximum effectiveness. Not only will the whole office appreciate your work, they will be in awe of your on-topic verbiage.
The meeting is about to start.
(set: $meeting to "speech")
[[Meeting time.]]You order sub sandwiches in every flavor the local shop carries. Not only will they arrive just as the meeting starts, there will enough for everyone to take home for days. Of course, you charge it all to your business card. Down with the system!
The meeting is about to start.
(set: $meeting to "lunch")
[[Meeting time.]]THIS WIZARD HAT WILL BRING REVOLUTION!!!!!
()
/\
/ \
/ \
/ \
__________
The meeting is about to start.
(set: $meeting to "hat")
[[Meeting time.]]The meeting is in a large lecture hall. A crowd of associates assembles. The partners sit in the balcony, lording over the whole area.
Onstage in the front is one of the Partners. He's wearing a beige suit and an unnaturally wide smile. He's also a minotaur.
"This meeting will come to order!" He calls, banging a fist on a weathered podium. As though it is an object of universal disgust, everyone scowls at it.
"First of all, I'd like to congratulate everyone on a year of productivity! Profits are through the roof. Now, does anyone have anything they feel the need to bring to our attention before the meeting starts?"
[[Raise your hand.]]"Hm?" The partner grunts. "I... Well! Seems we have a volunteer!"
Everyone stares at you as though you are insane. Considering these meetings have a mortality rate, you're not suprised.
[[Get onstage and begin your pitch.]]
[[Chicken out and sit back down.]]Standing onstage, you take a deep breath. The partner wheels the podium over to you. This is your chance to show off your (print: $meeting).
With a war cry, you incite the people to rebellion. As your (print: $meeting) wows the crowd, the partner's wide smile starts to fade.
"Hey, that's not allowed," he roars, bull-rushing towards you. You're nowhere near finished with your presentation. "You're inciting a panic," he shouts. Indeed, incite a panic you have. The raw, emotional force of your (print: $meeting) has drummed the people into a frenzy.
As the partner makes contact with the podium, you careen to the side in a whiplash move.
[[Run out of there!]]
[[Be the martyr this movement needs.]]You sit back down, slinking as low as you can go in the cushy seating.
"...ok, quit wasting time," the partner roars.
The crowd boos, knowing that in this cuthroat world, they'd rather not be in your shoes.
"Security? This (print: $job) is fired."
Security arrives and grabs your blazer. They carry you out of the auditorium and out to the main lobby.
You just lost your job.
GAME OVER.You dart offstage. Guards around the room are too preoccupied with settling the audience's riot to stop you. Several partners in the room faint from fear, while others prepare magic spells to quell the unruly hoard.
You leave the building as fast as your legs carry you.
In the coming weeks, the newspapers report a magical brawl ensued thanks to outside hooligans of unknown quantity. Not only did you not get the credit, you also don't get your job back.
The revolution failed.
GAME OVER.You stay on the stage and talk about the virtues of rebellion as long as the situation allows.
As you dodge the partner's horns, chaos ensues. The rabble see you refuse to give up and decide your cause is worthy. Soon, all over the room, people are flinging contracts around at each other.
The shouting is incredible.
The crowd makes a rush to get in the elevator. Despite the absurd quantity of guards in this building, they can't stop everyone. Soon, the mob has reached the top floor.
Though the doors to the boss's office remain barred, the mob successfully acquires her signature on a policy to fix the office culture.
In the coming weeks, the news reports that internal action within the company has boosted employee's mental health. You are promoted instantly and now can work from home forever.
It was all thanks to your (print: $meeting).
GAME OVER. YOU WIN!Touching the rusty doorhandle, you find the door is locked tight. The decrepit area belies its secure nature.
[[Kick in the door.]]"Can do!" The secretary grins. "Looking for somebody?"
He hands you a large, manilla envelope. A sticker label at the top reads "directory."
Opening the folder, you see a single sheet of paper. It lists two names:
Jack A. Lope - Front Desk
Nigel T. Scalemist- Room 443
No other names appear on the list.
[[Examine the hallway.]]"Ha, ha," the secretary snuffles. He's frowning. "Good luck with that."
He devolves back to his laptop. You're on your own.
[[Examine the hallway.]]
[[Go back to the other doorway.->Enter the nearest door and go explore.]]
"Riiiiiiight," the secretary says. "I don't really care. Have fun out there."
You nod.
[[Examine the hallway.]]Inside the elevator, you see two buttons: up and down.
[[Go up.]]
[[Go down.]]You look around the hallway. There are a few doors, but they're all locked.
A few have weathered ID panels. The lowest numbered room reads 2215.
There's nothing particularly promising about this hallway.
[[Go back to the cave lobby.->Enter the cave.]]With a powerful kick, you manage to stub your toe. Door's still shut.
[[Open door with magic.]]Magic, of course! Why didn't you think of that first?
Waving your hands, the door groans open on rusty hinges. Score! You step inside the battered doorframe.
Inside the new room, any trace of rust and grime is replaced by carbon-black wall paneling. The room smells like smoke and metal.
[[Gingerly walk through room.]]
[[RUN THROUGH AT FULL SPEED]]You tiptoe through the room. Each footstep lights up a square tile. Your caution is rewarded when an arrow //zings// through the air just in front of you!
You duck as a swarm of more arrows soars in your direction.
[[RUN!->RUN THROUGH AT FULL SPEED]]You bolt as fast as you can. You barely avoid a swinging set of axes that drops from the roof. Long arrows pop from the walls and shoot in your direction. Quickly, you roll to evade them. A tile on the floor glows red.
A hissing noise fills the room and the door behind you shuts itself.
Glancing about in panic, you notice a small gap in the wall. You somersault forward to wriggle through.
[[Escape the room.]]Looking around, this appears to be some kind of maintenance tunnel. You notice that because there's a gal wearing a construction outfit emblazoned with the text: "maintenance."
She gets up and runs through a side door. You hear it click closed.
There are no other doors, just a ventilation hatch.
[[Climb into the vent.]]Army crawling into the vent, you slowly advance past dust bunnies and metal plating. No sneaky traps block your path.
Soon, you discover an exit point. It's a similar hatch, and with some work, you can pop it open. As you look down, you notice a pod of guards. They're each brandishing clubs. You must be very close to the intercom, but there's not going to be an easy way to get past them.
[[Get the drop on them.]]
[[Keep going through the vent.]]You pop open the ventilation. The screen covering smacks a guard and the whole pod swarms around him like angry bees.
You land feetfirst on top of the pile. People are shouting. People are hitting each other.
No part of this feels legal.
[[Look for intercom system.]]You continue to crawl through the ventilation. It's amazing that vent companies still make vents sized so people can actually crawl through.
It's a dead end. You'll have to go back.
[[Go back.->Climb into the vent.]]The intercom is not in immediate sight, but there is a door with red lights. That's promising.
Breaking away from the swarm, you push your way into the room. Alarms ring and the guards snap to attention.
[[Close the door!]]You turn to shut the door behind you. The guards push against you, but you've managed to be quick enough to stop them.
You doubt this will work. You lock the door and scan the room.
Under a glass cover, you spot a glowing red button. It's not labelled, but you have a hunch this is intercom related. It's on a hinge, so you can flip it open like a treasure chest or a box.
The guards bang on the door angrily.
[[Open the box.]]You open up the box.
The button gleams before you, like the crown jewels of England.
Touching it would feel like sacrilege, but you've come so far...
[[Press the button.]]
[[Admire the button.]]You slam the button with a fist in comical fashion. The room lights up, the sirens stop, and a bell-chime sounds over the building.
This is your chance.
[[Urge the people to rise up.]]
[[Remind everyone that they have rights.]]
[[Tell a long winded story about your family.]]You stand waiting for something to happen.
Happen it does; the guards slam through the door, splintering it in pieces. They attack you and push you away from the intercom. They shield their eyes from looking at it.
Your mission has failed.
GAME OVER.You talk about the virtues of rebellion as long as the situation allows.
Though you cannot see it, chaos ensues. The rabble decides your cause is worthy. Soon, all over the building, people are flinging contracts around at each other.
The shouting is incredible.
A crowd makes a rush to get in the elevator. Despite the absurd quantity of guards in this building, they can't stop everyone. Soon, the mob has reached the top floor.
Though the doors to the boss's office remain barred, the mob successfully acquires her signature on a policy to fix the office culture.
In the coming weeks, the news reports that internal action within the company has boosted employee's mental health. You are promoted instantly and now can work from home forever.
It was all thanks to your work as a (print: $job).
GAME OVER. YOU WIN!You talk about the nobility of the people as long as the situation allows.
Though you cannot see it, chaos ensues. The rabble decides your cause is worthy. Soon, all over the building, people are flinging contracts around at each other.
The shouting is incredible.
A crowd makes a rush to get in the elevator. Despite the absurd quantity of guards in this building, they can't stop everyone. Soon, the mob has reached the top floor.
Though the doors to the boss's office remain barred, the mob successfully acquires her signature on a policy to fix the office culture.
In the coming weeks, the news reports that internal action within the company has boosted employee's mental health. You are promoted instantly and now can work from home forever.
It was all thanks to your work as a (print: $job).
GAME OVER. YOU WIN!You talk about your family for as long as the situation allows.
Though you cannot see it, chaos ensues. The rabble remembers their homes, their lives, and all those who they miss. Soon, all over the building, people are flinging contracts around at each other.
The shouting is incredible.
A crowd makes a rush to get in the elevator. Despite the absurd quantity of guards in this building, they can't stop everyone. Soon, the mob has reached the top floor.
Though the doors to the boss's office remain barred, the mob successfully acquires her signature on a policy to fix the office culture.
In the coming weeks, the news reports that internal action within the company has boosted employee's mental health. You are promoted instantly and now can work from home forever.
It was all thanks to your work as a (print: $job).
GAME OVER. YOU WIN!Pressing the button, you wait for something to happen.
You must already be all the way up.
[[Go down.]]Pressing the down button, the elevator starts to whirl into life. Its door clangs shut with a bang and a shudder. This thing's even worse than the elevator at your firm. If it doesn't break down, it'll be a miracle.
As the machine sinks deeper towards the bottom of the cave, you feel the air heat up and become dense. The smell is even worse. You wish you weren't so desperate to fill up your billable hours.
The source of yellow light grows closer. You can see a wide hallway... and soon, the glint of golden coins. This must be the dragon's hoard.
The elevator dings to a halt, just outside the hall. It clatters open.
[[Call out to see if dragon is there.]]
[[Go steal money lol.]]You shout out to the dragon, or to see if anyone is there.
Behind you, you hear a snort.
"Hrrruff. Who's in my lair?"
It's the dragon!
(if: $dragonstrat is "Lawsuit")[[Inform him about lawsuit.]]
(if: $dragonstrat is "Negotiations")[[Begin negotiations.]]
[[Explain what you're doing here.]]You take a single coin in your palm.
"HALT!" snorts a loud voice. You turn to see a 50-foot long dragon. He is glaring at you. "Drop that this instant."
[[Drop the cash.]]
[[Pocket as much money as you can.]]You drop the cash.
The dragon snorts.
"You better have some good explanation for being here," he grumbles.
(if: $dragonstrat is "Lawsuit")[[Inform him about lawsuit.]]
(if: $dragonstrat is "Negotiations")[[Begin negotiations.]]
[[Explain what you're doing here.]]The dragon roars as your gather gold coins into your pockets. Above the jingling noises, you hear the sound of something charge up.
The last thing you see is a lazer beam shooting from the dragon's nostrils.
GAME OVER.You hold up the complaint and a service of process.
The dragon roars.
"How dare you! Litigation is expensive! I'll have your head for trying to take from my hoard, greedy lawyer."
[[Offer to negotiate a settlement. ->Begin negotiations.]]You tell the dragon about your client's request. You promise that the two of you can talk things out if he wants to settle things amicably.
"Hork hork hork," he laughs evilly. "I care not for one lowly human. Your efforts to defeat me shall be in vain. I shall eat you, and that shall end your petty negotiations."
[[Challenge him to a fair fight.]]You tell the dragon about your client's request.
"Hork hork hork," he laughs evilly. "I care not for one lowly human. Your efforts to defeat me shall be in vain."
[[Challenge him to a fair fight.]]You offer to resolve the situation over a contest.
"What sort?" the dragon asks. He seems interested. "I can defeat any human at anything. It is known. Choose your game carefully."
[[Karaoke battle.]]
[[Fencing.]]
[[Trivial pursuit.]]
[[Compare GPA.]]"Gwah hah aha HAHA!" The dragon snarls.
"You're on." He extends a claw in your direction. "And by all objective measures, you shall lose."
He swipes aside the coins with his tail, making room for a patch of ground to serve as a long stage. As if from nowhere, the secretary materializes in the room.
"He shall be an impartial judge," the dragon explains. You highly doubt this. Clearing his throat, the dragon begins to sing. It's a grating, horrible sound.
Three ear splitting minutes later, the dragon has calmed down. The secretary claps like his life depends on it.
"You next," he smirks.
[[Sing a pop song.]]
[[Sing a rock ballad.]]
[[Concede.]]"Gwah hah aha HAHA!" The dragon snarls.
"You're on." He extends a claw in your direction. "And by all objective measures, you shall lose."
He swipes aside the coins with his tail, making room for a patch of ground to serve as a long battleground. As if from nowhere, the secretary materializes in the room. He's holding two sharp blades. These are no ordinary fencing sabers.
"He shall be an impartial judge," the dragon explains. You highly doubt this. Clearing his throat, the dragon grabs the blade and scrapes it across the floor. It's a grating, horrible sound.
The secretary claps like his life depends on it.
"You ready?" he smirks.
[[Go offensive.]]
[[Go defensive.]]
[[Concede.]]"Gwah hah aha HAHA!" The dragon snarls.
"You're on." He extends a claw in your direction. "And by all objective measures, you shall lose."
He swipes aside the coins with his tail, making room for you two to stand. As if from nowhere, the secretary materializes in the room.
"He shall be an impartial host," the dragon explains. You highly doubt this.
"Ready," he smirks.
[[Pick a category.]]
[[Let the dragon pick.]]
[[Concede.]]"Gwah hah aha HAHA!" The dragon snarls.
"You're on." He extends a claw in your direction. "And by all objective measures, you shall lose."
As if from nowhere, the secretary materializes in the room.
"He shall be an impartial judge," the dragon explains. You highly doubt this. The judge hands the two of you a scrap of paper.
"Write down your GPA," he advises. "Law school GPA, specifically, including class rank."
[[Lie about your grades.]]
[[Tell the truth about your grades.]]
[[Concede.]]You belt out a catchy pop song. Your tune isn't perfect, but it is on key and you don't fumble the lyrics.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]You sing a masterful tale of woe. The distant sound of electric guitars augment your performance. Your tune isn't perfect, but it is on key and you don't fumble the lyrics.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]You admit defeat before even trying. The dragon smiles and eats you.
GAME OVER.You swing your sword blindly to attack. The dragon jumps and flies about, unable to smack you with his own weapon.
The two of you grow tired soon, and he offers to cut the match short for a ruling. You accept.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]You swing your sword to block any attacks. The dragon jumps and flies about, unable to smack you with his own weapon.
The two of you grow tired soon, and he offers to cut the match short for a ruling. You accept.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]You choose an easy looking category of question. The secretary reads the query aloud and you write down your guess.
So does the dragon.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]The dragon chooses a difficult looking category of question. The secretary reads the query aloud and you write down your guess.
So does the dragon.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]You pass the secretary your paper. So does the dragon.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]You pass the secretary your paper. So does the dragon.
The secretary frowns, clearly torn.
"Ah... um..."
"OUT WITH IT!" roars the dragon. He raises a claw.
"The human loses!" The secretary commands.
[[Appeal.]]This is ridiculous. You demand a rematch, or at least an explanation why you lose. The secretary turns to the dragon for an additional ruling.
The dragon snarls. "It happens, human. Dragons are superior in every respect."
...You won't accept this.
[[Appeal to the Supreme Court????]]Certiori is instantaneously granted!
You teleport into oral argument!
All of the justices are confused!
Your client is there and your firm's notoriety increases! The plot of this adventure becomes completely incoherent! Billions of dollars appear out of thin air!
YOU WIN? KIND OF?